February 25, 2005

Things To Do While Your Coworkers Are On Vacation

Received via email this morning(click extended entry):

Update: Welcome Delphi Forum readers! Stick around and visit some more; I love the company. more...

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Don't screw with the pizza guy

As someone who delivered pizzas during my junior year in high school, I can relate to this story, where an intrepid reporter sat down to have a discussion with six pizza delivery men. Excerpt:


He knows more about you than you will ever know about him. There are the tangibles: your name, your address, your phone number. And there are the countless intangibles. If he has worked in the racket for a few years--and a decade's labor on the pizza road is not so unusual--he has glimpsed the insides of thousands of homes and apartments. He has borne witness to unimaginable squalor. He has breathed in the stink from your unemptied garbage and your beige urine-soaked carpets. He has gawked at the regal excess of your Lake of the Isles mansion. He has made countless numbing visits to your bleak, ill-lit shithole apartment. He has even caught the scent of the hydroponic marijuana you furtively cultivate under grow lights in the basement.

You should know this: If you stiff the pizza man, he will hate you. There are Nazis. There are baby rapists. And there is that vast class of indifferent, callous swine who stiff the pizza man. Same shit, different name. On the other hand, if you do him up right--prompt exchange, $5 tip--the pizza man will sing your praises to his fellow drivers. If you tip him extravagantly--say, $20 or more on a large order--he will personally arrange an audience with the pope to make the case for your beatification. To the pizza man, the tip is the thing.

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February 24, 2005

How well do you know your money?

Can you select the correct image of a penny?

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:59 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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February 23, 2005

Text adventure games

Michele goes into the wayback machine and discusses Adventure(akaColossal Cave) and Zork. If you aren't familiar with plugh or xyzzy, then you've been missing out.

You see a fierce green dragon.

>Kill dragon

With what, your bare hands?

>Yes

Congratulations. You've just killed a fierce green dragon with your bare hands. Amazing, isn't it?

And by the way, that dwarf really pissed me off. A lot.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The dates are set

Do you know where you're going to be on September 29 through October 1? I know where I'm going to be. That is, if the chief gives me permission. My streak of six consecutive GABFs was interrupted by the birth of my second child last year; there will be no similar interruptions this year.

Three whole days of nothing but drinking beer, talking to other beer lovers, drinking beer, eating, drinking beer, releasing great gobs of methane into the atmosphere. It just doesn't get any better than that. Oh, and did I mention the drinking of beer?

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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An instant classic

From the supple mind of Tim Blair.

ROOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEE!!!!!!

Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Pleasure...

...or business? Could be both, perhaps. Mrs. du Toit has a post up that's piqued my interest. Maybe you'll be intrigued as well.

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Two words that don't belong together

Squirrel hazing. 'Nuff said.

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February 22, 2005

New to the blogroll

Dean links to an article at Whiteperil.com which, I believe, everyone should read. At least, everyone with an open mind in the debate. Just my opinion, of course. Anyway, a new site has been added to the blogroll.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 09:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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What it all means

I'm watching Kelo vs. City of New London closely. The outcome of this case, should Ms. Kelo lose, will have negative and lasting repercussions, far beyond what a Kerry victory this past November would have brought. Professor Bainbridge puts it best:


After news of Napoleon's victory in the Battle of Austerlitz was conveyed to British Prime Minister William Pitt's, Pitt pointed to a map of Europe and said: "Roll up the map; it will not be wanted these ten years." If the Supreme Court sides with New London, we might just as well roll up the Bill of Rights, for we won't need it any longer.


Posted by: Physics Geek at 08:38 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Geeky post of the day

Found this article via Peeve Farm about a guy who built his own self-balancing, two-wheeled scooter. Essentially, it's a homemade Segway™ , without the fancy price tag, the fancy design, or the fancy safety features. Still, it's a pretty ingenious contraption. Check it out.

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Ways to destroy the Earth

Ignoring the Kyoto Protocol is not mentioned

Not goin' anywhere for a while? Then drop that Snickers and head over here to read something just a bit different. Link found via Cold Fury.

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Bring out yer dead!

You might want to make sure that they're actually dead, though. Just an FYI. Autopsies are notoriously difficult to survive.

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Whatever happened to good old hanging?

From Fox News comes this little tidbit: a US citizen conspired to kill President Bush. Excerpt:


The federal indictment said that in 2002 and 2003 Abu Ali and an unidentified co-conspirator discussed plans for Abu Ali to assassinate Bush. They discussed two scenarios, the indictment said, one in which Abu Ali "would get close enough to the president to shoot him on the street" and, alternatively, "an operation in which Abu Ali would detonate a car bomb."

According to the indictment, Abu Ali obtained a religious blessing from another unidentified co-conspirator to assassinate the president.

More than 100 supporters of Abu Ali crowded the courtroom and laughed when the charge was read aloud alleging that he conspired to assassinate Bush.
...
Abu Ali is charged with six counts and would face a maximum of 80 years in prison if convicted.

Conspiring to assassinate a US President gives you only 80 years in prison? I've got a better idea: how about an unlimited number of years underground? Unlike the wingnuts the frequent the DU(probably some of the people laughing in court), I'd support the death penalty for someone who conspired to kill a Democrat president. I don't have the stomach to wade through the fever swamps today, but I'll guarantee you that there will be lots of cheering and "atta boys" from a certain segment of the ultra-leftists in this country. I take that back: they'll probably be pissed off that Abu Ali failed in his assignment.

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Presidential hangman

I did pretty well at this game. One that I did miss, though, was John Kennedy. I don't know why.

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Words fail me

Saw the following over at the Corner. The last line must be seen to be believed. Even then, it's a stretch.


Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" on "'Fact' Obsessed Bloggers" (4 1/2 minute multimedia clip with a required ad to view first, works poorly on dial up connections). Partial transcript:


Stephen Colbert, Senior Media Correspondent: "I draw the line with these 'attack bloggers.' Just someone with a computer who gathers, collates and publishes accurate information that is then read by the general public. They have no credibility. All they have is facts. Spare me."


Found via the Corner.

And yes, I probably it's probably tongue-in-cheek, at least on the Daily Show. However, it sounds far too similar to what I'm hearing from some of the MSM types.

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Words you don't hear every day

A city wastewater utility worker recovered the penis from a toilet down which the woman had flushed it.

No mention of whether or not the Lorena Bobbit shrine had candles burning in it at the time.

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Just because I haven't pissed off enough people today

I've carried the following list around for more than a decade since I first saw in on an old BBS, maybe alt. humor. Probably been around longer than that. Anyhoo, here goes:
===============================================


45 Reasons Why Coffee Is Better Than Women

1. You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.

2. Coffee doesn't complain when you've put whipped cream in it.

3. Coffee looks better in the morning.

4. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.

5. You can always warm coffee up.

6. Coffee comes with endless refills.

7. Coffee is cheaper.

8. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.

9. Coffee never runs out.

10. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.

11. You can take black coffee home to meet your parents.

12. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.

13. You can smoke while drinking coffee.

14. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.

15. Coffee smells and tastes good.

16. You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.

17. If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.

18. You can always get fresh coffee.

19. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it will be hot when you
get back.

20. They sell coffee at police stations.

21. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.

22. Coffee goes down easier.

23. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.

24. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

25. A big cup or a small cup? It doesn't matter.

26. Your coffee doesn't talk to you.

27. Coffee smells good in the morning.

28. Coffee smells good when it's cold too.

29. Coffee stains are easier to remove.

30. Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.

31. Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.

32. Coffee doesn't shed.

33. Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.

34. You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.

35. Coffee doesn't mind being ground.

36. No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.

37. Coffee doesn't have a time of the month...it's good all the time.

38. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.

39. When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of
your throat.

40. Coffee doesn't take up half of your bed.

41. Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.

42. INSTANT COFFEE!!

43. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.

44. It takes up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.

45. Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.

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February 18, 2005

Psst! Free nude pictures!

Now that I have your attention, Conservative Cat has assembled an all-purpose Carnival page, complete with fill in the blank submission form. He even lists the due dates and times for every Carnival. Now you're out of excuses. Submit. SUBMIT!!!

Thank Harvey for the link.

Posted by: Physics Geek at 05:38 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Clarity of thought

Stumbled across this old speech by Michael Crichton this moring(with a little help from Neal Boortz) and thought that I'd post a few excerpts:

Now go read it all.

Update: I'm taking down the excerpts until/unless I receive permission to post them. I failed to notice the note at the bottom of the speech. While some might argue the Fair Use doctrine, and be entirely correct in their assertion, I have neither the time nor money to fight a copyright infringement lawsuit. I have submitted a request to post excerpts on this site.

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